Saturday, 20 April 2013

My so called 'HOME'

I arrived at the  'DESHPANDE MANSION', my home. Nothing has changed, the gates are still tall, though the guard is different. I get down from the auto and pay the auto driver. I ask the guard to open the gate he refuses! i tell him that i own this house, he laughs and says then i own this state. I am a little irritated but it is not his fault that he doesn't know me, i call Anupam uncle, he comes gives me a long look. I see surprise and a tinge of sadness in his eyes which reflects my image which looks blurred maybe his eyes are watering but he turns away and calls a servant to pick my luggage, four servants come but i send them away i have habituated to do my work on my own. Even when i was a kid my mum was very particular about me being independent.
        I enter my house and i don't feel good, nothing has changed be it the staircase or the chandelier the placement of the furniture nothing, there are minute changes like the curtains and the trophies on the mantle have increased. This house was to my mum's taste everything perfect and sober. I am a bit sober too but it is a habit i acquired from my attempts to be like her during my childhood. my mum designed this house with the help of our architect, she designed the office too. I feel uncle's hand on my shoulder he says " Amulya you will be tired why don't you go to your room and take some rest. I nod and start climbing the stairs looking at the people who are gawking at me
         I enter my room and i feel like i have been slapped in the face, my room which was mine 8 years back still looks the way i left it except it is cleaned. My novels, basket ball, paintings every thing is in the same place. i pull out the secret draw under the bed where i used to hide things such as slam books tissues from ice cream shops etc.. which i considered important to me. I hope mum would not have seen them though it is nothing but old memories still...i like my privacy. I fall on the old bean bag and for an unknown reason i start to cry, i decide to open the window for some fresh air as it might calm me. i turn to the window. I hear foot steps and a knock i don't turn around then a beautiful voice calls out to me "hey precious" its Ameena  i turn and run to hug her. 

Friday, 19 April 2013

Five years and don't know what to expect.

five years that i have set my foot in India. Now i am at the Bengaluru international airport.A new airport! i exit  after collecting my baggage which is just a trolley and a kitbag along with my ruck sack and laptop bag. I haven't informed anyone at home. It feels so weird to call it home since i haven't been there in 8 years.    When my dad died, i can't even say expired or passed away because his death was so brutal,he met with an accident and his head was found 20 meters away from his body. This devastated my mother and myself and i became numb after that till now i still am that numb. The honking of autos and taxis bring me back to the present . I realize that i have been standing near the gate for quite some time now I take an auto, yes i am going to inherit 50 millions but it is not mine, it is my parents's money. My college was funded by a scholarship. The pas three years that i have been working at a media house pays me enough to stay content.As soon as i finish signing the papers , i will give the entire property to Anupam uncle and go back to my home in  uk. I can't miss work for long. I can't wait to meet Ameena

uneasy

It has been eight years that i have been home. It feels strange after dad's death, i never felt like staying at home. And now that mom has died,  i have to go back
home. That too to sign papers to become  sole owner of fifty million worth property.If not for Ameena i would never come back to India it has been five years that i have been in UK . I never realized how or when my relationship sore with mum but after dad's death i was too much in grief that i could not bear to stay at home. I distanced myself from every other relation,went to UK on a scholarship and finished graduation and post graduation in mass communication and photography.Now i a m quite unsure of what awaits me. The only two people i want to meet is   Ameena And Anupam uncle, i just hope i don't have to deal with the long queue of people giving their condolences.